


Avoiding Sunshine

by Shadowlions_yeet



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, Drama, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-04-07 04:25:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 5,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14072862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowlions_yeet/pseuds/Shadowlions_yeet
Summary: So this takes place before the last chapter, I realized that wasn't really clear after I wrote it, so yeah. Also, thank you guys so much for your comments and stuff, it means a lot to me. Well, enjoy,





	1. A High You Don't Want to Come Down From

**Addison's POV**

"Dr. Grey, you bellowed?" I ask as she steps into the doorway of Meredith's hospital room. 

"Hi." she grins. "Yes you most certainly are." I grab the chart from the nurse on her way out. "But not pregnant."  I get ready to walk out, because this certainly isn't weird, talking to your husband's ex-mistress while she's as high as a kite.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I walk back in, "How are you?"

"I'm trying to choose between two men." she blurts out. 

"Oh" I go to leave again. 

"How did you know Derek was the one? I want him to be the one." Meredith continues, "I know you hate me and all, you don't owe me anything. Nothing. Noooo-thing." She reluctantly comes back into her room.

"I want him to be the one. But I would know right?"

"I," I let out a long sigh, "I didn't know, not until it was too late. I just knew he wouldn't hurt me. Not in the way I hurt him."

"He hurt me." Meredith states, "when he choose you."

"Well I should've let him go. Set him aside. Been a better person. I, I should've done a lot of things."

"You do a lot of things." 

I smile a little, "I don't hate you."

"How come we've never talked like this?" Meredith questions.

"The only reason we are talking like this now is because I know you won't remember a single word of this once the drugs wear off." I answer with a sad smile, as I finally decide I should leave.

"Wait." 

The red head rolls her eyes and comes back into that stupid hospital room. 

"Can I tell you a secret?" she questioned, with a serious face.

"Sure." I answer, slightly annoyed.

"I think there's a different person I want to choose."

"A different person?" I echo, wondering who the hell that might be. "And who could that be?"

"It's a secret," she beckons me closer. Deciding to humor her, I move in closer. 

She leans in, and places her lips on mine. After the initial shock wears off, I step back, and nearly sprint out of that room, before she can call her back in there. 

She... kissed me.  My husband's ex mistress kissed me. And it felt... good. So good. Like a high I never want to come down from.


	2. To Avoidence

**Addison's POV:**

Ever since Derek broke up with his girlfriend, he has been utterly awful to be around. So that's how, weeks later, I've ended up at Joe's to try and hopefully drink my problems away. Martini in hand, I sit at the bar, like always, wondering why I even came here. To a husband that doesn't even love me. To a husband who loves a woman who kissed me. God, I don't even want to think about that right now. 

My thoughts are interrupted as none other then Meredith Grey comes and sits next to me with a shot of tequila in hand. Of course, someone else I'd been avoiding like the plague ever since the kiss.

"Hey," she downs the alcohol like it was water, not even flinching. "Two more." she signals to Joe.

"Hey," I respond, wondering how she can drink this much alcohol without passing out, especially with her small stature. 

"Rough day?" she asks with a sympathetic look.

"Nope just avoiding Derek." I take another sip of my drink.

"Me too." She raises her shot glass. "To avoiding Derek Shepherd."

"To Avoidance." Our glasses clink together.


	3. A Drunken Mistake

**Meredith's POV:**

I wake up to my alarm blaring, and a piercing headache. I hear someone groan. "Turn it off, I wanna go back to sleep." Wait, not just someone else. Addison Shepherd. "Wait." I croak. "Are you wearing any clothes? Cause I'm not. Shit. What happened last night? Oh shit." 

Addison gets up and picks her clothes up from off the floor. "Well one things for sure, the clothes sure came off." 

"Fuck." I sigh. 

_"Thanks for the drinks." I fumble with my keys until the door unlocks. I step through, and raise my head to say goodbye, to be met with Addison's gaze. We just stand there, for what feels like forever, until I lean in, and capture her lips in my own. I guide her through the door, kicking it closed with my foot. My hands travel through her hair, as she grabs onto my hips, like she would never let go._

"Um. Shit. Dr. Montgomery.. uh-"

"You might as well just call me Addison at this point," she interjects.

"Uh well, Addison, I think we should just forget this, we were both very drunk, it was a mistake." I ramble on, still trying to process what happened.

"I mean, I don't remember much anyways so..." she pulls her shirt over her head, "We can just pretend this never happened.

_I pull her shirt off over her head, throwing on the ground, trailing kisses down her neck, on her collarbone until I get to her bra. I reach behind her, unclip it, and discard it with the ever-growing pile of clothing on my floor. "You," Addison declares, "Are wearing to much clothing. She pulls my shirt over my head, then tugs at my pants. With her help, I lose those too. Our lips reconnect, our tongues fighting for dominance. I win. I move down lower and lower, trailing kisses down her entire body, until I get to the waistband of her pants. I smirk, and pull them down._

"Well, uh, yeah,"

Addison hesitated, "I should probably get to the hospital."

"Yeah," I sighed, "Uh, watch out for Izzie and George on your way out though, as much as I'd love them to know..."

"Yeah, okay. Bye Meredith."

 


	4. Friends From the Morning After

**Meredith's POV:**

"So," Izzie interrogated, "Who was the lucky guy this time. He made coffee. You should bring him again. This is good coffee." I nervously laugh as I grab my keys. "You guys coming, 'cause I'm leaving."

* * *

"You seem off, what happened." Cristina states as she sits down at our lunch table. "Nothing." I insist. I defiantly don't want to talk about this. Ever.

"You're lying, spill it." she demands.

"Fine, but it's not a big deal," I begin.

"Okay, so?"

"I slept with Dr. Shepherd." I mumble under my breath.

"You slept with Derek? Again? I though you broke up with him?" Cristina gasped.

"Not that Shepherd."

"Wait, the other Shepherd? Mer, you didn't?" Cristina asked, perplexed.

"Yeah, I did. We were very very drunk." I admit.

"Oh my god you did. Meredith!" she exclaimed. "You slept with Derek's wife! She's married! To Derek."

"Yup."

She pauses for a moment, "Was it good?"

"It was amazing." I muse.

"So... you're a lesbian now?" Cristina asks.

"You know I've slept with women before right?" I smirk.

"Meredith Grey, why don't you tell me these things?" 

"I did just now," I respond, "Anyways, Addison and I are just gonna pretend it never happened, so this'll be fun." 

"Good luck with that." she laughs.

* * *

 

**Addison's POV:**

I know I'm supposed to be listening to Callie's lunchtime rambles, but today, I can't seem to focus for the life of me. My mind just keeps moving back to last night. But I can't explain it, because I don't feel anxious or guilty, I feel alive.

"Addison?" Callie waves her hand in front of my face, snapping my attention back to reality. 

"Yeah?" I reply.

"What's going on with you today, you're all weird." she comments.

I hesitate, "I cheated on Derek. Again."

Callie turns to face me, "Oh my god, with who?"

"An intern."

"Please don't tell me it was Karev, because that would be disappointing." Callie remarked.

"It wasn't him." I respond.

"Ok, then who was it?" she questions.

"Grey."

"Holy shit. Woah, Addison I was not expecting that." she chokes.

"Neither did I!" I argue.

"So, what do you think this means? I mean, with Derek and all?" she asked.

"I don't know. I really don't know." 

 


	5. McDrop Dead Gorgeous

**Meredith's POV:**

I walk into the locker room to the smell of newly cleaned scrubs and half eaten breakfast burritos. The smell of champions.

"Ok, Yang you're with Burke, O'Malley you have ortho with Dr. Torres, Stevens you're with Montgomery Shepherd, Karev you're with the other Shepherd, and Grey, you're in the pit" Bailey barked.

"Great, I'm with McBitch today," Izzie said dryly.

"Don't call her that," I grumble under my breath.

"What? Mer, she... it's Addison," George says confused.

"Just don't," I respond.

"What am I supposed to call her now? What other word fits her besides bitch?" Izzie questions.

Alex leans in, "How 'bout McHottie?"

"Alex!" Izzie pushes him away.

What they don't hear is me mumbling under my breath, "More like McDrop Dead Gorgeous."

* * *

"What's up with you defending Satan?" Cristina plops down into a wheelchair someone left in the back hallway.

"No reason really." I respond, not even looking up from my book.

"Yeah right," Cristina laughs.

"She just a human being, it's not her fault that all this shit happened and-"

"Actually..." Cristina interjects.

"Whatever, it's just... I know what it's like for people to talk behind your back, and it's not great." I finish.

She pauses. "You  _like_  her." 

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"So what is it that you said after Alex made his usual snarky comment this morning, huh?" she retorts.

I swear my face must've turned tomato red.

"Fine, whatever." I mumble. 

And with that my pager beeps.

"Saved by the bell."

* * *

Today has been slow. I hate slow days in the pit. Instead of doing awesome surgery, I'm stuck sitting in the hallway.

Izzie plops down next to me, "Surprisingly Satan isn't that bad today. I wonder what's up. Maybe her and McDreamy finally figured it out."

"I told you Izzie, don't call her that." I snap.

"Jeez, what's your problem?" Izzie gets up at the sight of Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd walking down the hallway. As she walks past, her eyes meet mine. 

Those damn gorgeous eyes.

 

 


	6. I Almost Think Everything Might Be Okay

**Addison's POV:**

Life was all fine and dandy until Meredith Grey got put on my service. I have been desperately trying to avoid her for weeks, and I have been succeeding. Until now anyways. 

"Dr. Grey." I acknowledge.

"Dr. Montgomery." she says as we walk into the patient's room.  

"Uh, Ms. O' Donnel, age 32, is in for a c- section." Meredith presents, "She's 30 weeks along, vitals are stable."

"Thank you Grey," I turn to the patient, "We'll do the surgery in an hour, now, do you have any other questions?"

"No," she responds quietly.

I reassure her, "It's going to be okay."

* * *

 

I slide onto the floor of one of the supply closets, and put my face in my hands. The patient didn't make it. She had her whole life ahead of her, and she died. It's not fair. It's a miracle the baby even made it. I choke out a sob.

I barely hear the closet door open, "Addi- Doctor Montgomery?"

I look up to see none other then Meredith Grey. Fuck. "Grey," I answer, "What do you want."

"Are- are you okay?" she takes a step closer.

"What does it look like?" I snap back.

She sits next to me on the floor, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't bring back the dead," I mutter.

"I know." she hesitantly puts her arm around me.

I press my head into her shoulder, and cry. And we just stay like that for a long while. For a moment, I almost think everything might be okay.


	7. Exhale

**Addison's POV:**

Today was a long day to say the least. I had three surgeries, and one of my patients went into labor at eleven, and then had complications, leading to a c-section. Now, at two in the morning, I've finally arrived home.

I take off my shoes, and quietly get into bed, careful not to disturb Derek. I look over to his peaceful face. I'm finally at home. No more patients, it's just me and my husband. I can finally let go, and relax. So why can't I breathe?

* * *

The next day is quite the opposite. My surgical schedule is clear, and by some miracle, there aren't many laboring mothers in Seattle. I finish charts and paperwork, and then decide to go home. As I walk out of the lobby, someone caught my eye.

Meredith Grey. She's not dressed up or anything, but I can't help but notice her. She's wearing a sweater and some jeans, with her hair messily pulled up. For once in her life, she doesn't seem rushed or in a hurry. She looks content. I can't help thinking to myself, I want to see her like this more. She exits the door, and I soon follow. As her footsteps grow quieter, I finally exhale.


	8. Innocence in a Dark Room is a Lie

**Meredith's POV:**

Lots of things in life suck. But you know what really sucks? That feeling of exhaustion after an eighteen hour surgery, where you're tired all over, and all you want to do is sleep. So you trudge and go to find an on call room only to then walk in on Alex Karev screwing some nurse.

So I continue my quest for an empty on call room so I can finally sleep and ignore the fact my entire body is sore, until I get to the next room.

I open the door, and plop onto a bed.

"Can you shut the door Grey?" Addison's voice calls out from the bed across from me.

"Oh, uh, I can, um, go." I stutter.

"No, no, it's fine, I have a surgery in half an hour anyways, sleep. God knows you probably need it." she reassures, getting up, "You've been here for how long? You have to be tired."

"Yeah, well that's what an eighteen hour surgery does to you." I joke, closing the door and sitting back on the bed.

"Jesus, you have got to be sore," Addison pointed out.

I nod my head. 

"Wait I have an idea," she sits down behind me on the tiny bed.

**Addison's POV:**

Sore right now is probably an understatement for her. I remember my intern years, and oh god, were they painful. 

I carefully place my hands on her shoulders, and start to massage away the tension. I hear her breath hitch. She lets out a long sigh as I move to her upper back, kneading the muscles, then down to her lower back. 

It feels like some sort of wordless intimate exchange. Just her and I in a dark room. I lean in closer, to the point where my lips are just a couple of inches from her neck, and I can smell the lavender in her hair. It takes every inch of control I have not to attach my lips to her neck. This is just me helping out a friend, just an innocent encounter, I try and reason with myself. Who am I kidding, innocence in a dark room is a lie.

I pull away her hair, to work on her pale neck. 

My head perks up, when I hear her gasp. I keep working on her pale neck, and hear a noise that almost sounds like a moan. I move closer to her, dropping my hands to her sides.

**Meredith's POV:**

I feel her lips ghost the back of my neck, and her hands on my sides gently holding onto me. My breath hitches and everything in the air stops.

The emptiness of the room is filled when Addison's pager starts blaring, and everything comes back into motion.

"Shoot, I have to go," she runs out the door, leaving me alone in the dark room.

My fingertips touch the back of my neck, I can still feel where her lips nearly were. It's as if her breath is still lingering on my neck. I lay on my back, and let my mind wander. But they always wander back to when her lips so nearly were on me, until I drift away to sleep.


	9. Looking at Me (No)

**Meredith's POV:**

After the events in the on call room, things were somehow not awkward between Addison and I. We started talking more, and we even occasionally sat together at lunch. I did still, however, get weird looks from my friends, who were wondering, why in hell's name I was hanging out with my ex-boyfriend's wife. 

"Hey," Addison sat down, "Where've you been all day?"

"Ugh," I groan, "I've been planing a stupid prom all day."

"Well, thanks to you and your intern friends, I have nobody on my service today, so thanks for that," she pointed out.

"Yeah, well, I'll keep that in mind the next time we decide to cut an lvad wire." I reply.

"Meredith, please tell me it wasn't you who cut the wire, 'cause I swear-"

"No can do," I interject.

"So, how about the prom, then. Got a date?" she took a sip of her coffee.

"Yeah, I'm going to ask Finn later."

"Oh, so the vet, huh. How is he?"

"He's uh, good. You going with Derek?" I ask.

"Yeah, that's the plan anyways." she looks down at her pager, which is now making a beeping noise. "Shoot, looks like I gotta go." She gets up, and swiftly heads out. 

* * *

 

Out of all the things I'd want to be doing tonight, going to the prom is the last one. Still, I'm here. I carefully walk down the stairs and towards the punch bowl.

"God I wish this was alcohol," I mutter under my breath.

"I know right?" I turn my head to see Addie in a sparkling red dress with a low neckline, and I strap going around her neck.

"Addie, thank god. I am so ready for this night to be over." I say, releasing my breath. I'm trying my very hardest not to stare, but damn it's hard because right now she looks gorgeous. I mean, hell, she always looks gorgeous.

"Oh come on, you'll make it through," she laughs, "Now go, you have a very handsome date waiting for you," she points to Finn. 

"Hey there," Finn smiled, "Wanna dance?"

"Sure."

As we dance, I look over towards Addie and Derek. I can practically feel Derek's penetrating stare as he looks back. It makes me feel like I can't breathe. Oh god, I can't breathe.

I push away from Finn, "Sorry, I- uh, claustrophobic, I need to go," I stammer, trying to find some excuse.

I faintly hear Derek mumble some excuse to chase after me. I walk into an exam room, and try to slam the door, but to no avail, because Derek came in anyways.

"Go away."

"No." He steps in front of me, just looking at me. He won't stop looking at me.

"Stop looking at me," I snap.

"I'm not looking at you," he argues back.

"Yes, you are!" I exclaim.

"Well, do you think I want to be looking at you? Don't you think I'd rather be looking looking at my wife? She doesn't drive me crazy, make it impossible for me to feel normal!" He yells, nearly shaking. 

I finally look up at him. She takes two strides towards me, then his lips are on mine.

No. This is wrong. Oh no.

"Derek," I push him away. He looks confused. "I can't. No. Just... go." 

He lowers his head, and walks through the door.


	10. Looking at Me (Oh Hell Yes)

**Meredith's POV:**

Derek tried to sleep with me. Oh god, he tried to sleep with me. What the hell do I tell Addison? I just sit on the exam table, feeling nauseous. I stay still, completely still, until I hear the door creak open.

"Meredith?"

"Addie." I reply. I don't feel good.

"What's wrong," she questions as she sits next to me on the table.

"Derek tried to sleep with me." I blurted out.

"Oh." I look over to Addison, her face completely blank.

"I didn't though, I stopped him, but, uh, I figured you should know." I ramble on trying to fill the heavy silence. 

"It's okay," she whispered, almost as if she's trying to tell herself that. "He," she sighed, "I cheated on him before, I guess twice now, it's okay, he gets one mistake. One mistake, that's all it is." she said after a moment's reflection. 

"Thank you. For telling me. And for not sleeping with him."

Against my better judgement, I reach over to grab her hand. Surprisingly, she obliges, holding my hand in her own. I give it a gentle squeeze.

The silence starts to become comfortable, and we just sit, taking in the recent events of our lives. 

"Hey, Meredith?" Addison breaks the silence, and looks over towards me.

"Yeah?" I say softly.

"Why did you leave? The prom I mean." she queried.

"He was looking at me."

"Looking at you?"

"Derek. He was looking at me." I begin, "He was looking at me, like he could see through me. It was like he could see into my bones. Like... I dunno, it was freaking me out. I needed air. And then he followed me. And took up the rest of my air."

Addison looks at me sympathetically.

"And now you're doing it too."

Addison face twists into confusion.

I elaborate, "You're looking at me. But it's different. It's not suffocating. I feel like I might get high off all the oxygen actually," I start rambling, "And the way you're looking at me... if you keep looking at me like that, I'm going to lose my all my self control."

I look up to Addison's shocked face. Oh shit I actually said that.

**Addison's POV:**

Oh no. This is a bad idea. And impossibly bad idea. Something I should never do. But at the same time, oh hell yes.

I lean in closer, close enough where I can feel her breath on my face. I look into her eyes, and I know there's no going back. 

"Then lose it."


	11. Déjà Vu

**Addison's POV:**

Ever since Prom, Derek's been different. He seems distant and hesitant. I guess it makes sense though, he tried to cheat on me. But Meredith said no. To him at least, not to me. My mind keeps wandering, but it always ends up at the same place; New York. I wonder if he senses it too?

I shake my head and try to focus back on the scans I'm supposed to be working on. A mother came in with an ectopic pregnancy. Right as I finally felt like I was getting somewhere, I hear the door open.

"Hey," Meredith says softly.

I don't turn around. I don't know if I even want to turn around. It seems like a bad idea. Everything involving Meredith Grey... definitely a bad idea.

I hear he footsteps as she moves closer, "Addie," she touches my shoulder.

I hesitantly turn around, "Meredith."

"We should probably talk," she says, her hand retreating back to her side.

"About prom, I mean," she continues, "I really like you Addison."

She looks up into my eyes, and I know in that moment that the talking was about to be done. 

Her lips find mine in a slow sweet kiss, but if you asked, I couldn't tell you who started it. All I know is at some point Meredith's slender hand snaked it's way down my pants. Not that I'm complaining. It all feels so familiar. Like a warm memory, one you want to play in your head, over and over. 

That is, until I hear the door open. And I recall a certain event, one that would occasionally haunt me, ever since the night when Derek stormed out of our house in the Hamptons. 

"Oh Jesus!" I hear Bailey exclaim as the door slams shut. Meredith quickly fixes her appearance, and dashes to try and catch up to Bailey, but I just stay in place. It hits me; this is like what happened with Mark. I'm cheating on my husband again, except this time, instead of with his best friend, it's with the love of his life. It seems like history does indeed repeat itself. Unless, somehow, you stop it.


	12. Real

**Meredith's POV:**

I chase after Bailey, who is angrily storming away. 

"Dr. Bailey, wait!" She pays no mind to my yelling and keeps walking. However, when she steps in the elevator, I follow, effectively trapping her. Now she has to at least listen.

"Please," I plead. She finally turns around.

"Your personal business is none of my business. I could personally care less about this. But, when it becomes common knowledge, like everything does in this hospital, then, it will become my problem. 'Cause the other interns will care. They'll be pissed. Derek will defiantly be pissed. And I will have to hear about it, so I will be pissed. So don't."

The elevator dings, and she turns around. As the door opens she quietly says, sympathetically, "Get yourself together Grey, figure it out."

We both exit the elevator, and I decide to go find Addison to talk. We probably should talk. 

"Well that went about as well as expected," I mumble under my breath, "Now time to find Addison to talk to her, wherever the heck she is.

"Talk to Addison about what?" Derek shows up behind me, holding several charts.

"Oh, um, surgical notes, I'm on her service." I stutter out. Well, it's sort of true, I am on her service this week.

"I see you too are on first name basis," he comments, "It's good to see you guys getting along."

I stifle a laugh. Oh, if only he knew  _exactly_  how well we were getting along."

"Well, I have to work on some paperwork, nice to talk to you," he smiles as he walks away.

I let out my breath, and keep heading down the hallway.

Not watching where I was going at all, I bump into a tall figure. I look up, and there she is.

"Oh sorry. Um I was not watching where I was going. I've been trying to find you. But, now that I have, I think we should talk." I pull her into the nearest supply closet.

She faces me with a blank stare. I step back, nervousness settling in the pit of my stomach. 

"So, um, Bailey knows," I stutter.

"Yeah."

"I don't think she's going to tell Derek," I offer.

"Okay."

"So what are we going to do," I ask quietly, almost afraid for her answer.

"I don't know. What even are we?" she mumbles.

"I- I don't know. All I know is that this is real. What I'm feeling, it's real."

She turns around, and opens the door. Before exiting, she turns back, pain shining in her eyes. "I know, and that's why..." she stands for a moment, as if she was trying to decide how to finish her sentence. But she never does complete her thought, she just leaves.


	13. Pain

**Meredith's POV:**

Sometimes in your life, there are events you'll never forget. Maybe you don't remember every single detail, but certain things will be in your mind forever. Like the sound of a voice, the way the floor looked since you couldn't bare to look up to see a face full of pity, the material of your shirt you were anxiously fiddling with. And some parts you know will haunt you forever. Like the way you choked back tears, unable to contain your emotions. And all you can do now, is look back and relive it over and over again, until all you want is to forget it all of it ever happened.

* * *

It's one of those nights. I lay in bed, the sheets tangled, wide awake, tears running down my face. I wonder if it will ever stop.


	14. Replacement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this takes place before the last chapter, I realized that wasn't really clear after I wrote it, so yeah. Also, thank you guys so much for your comments and stuff, it means a lot to me. Well, enjoy,

**Meredith's POV:**

"Dr. Bailey! Have you seen Dr. Montgomery? I'm supposed to be on her service today." I ask.

"You'll be working with Dr. Binder today, he's going to be her temporary replacement until we find a permanent one." she replies.

"Wait, replacement? Why do we need a replacement?" I asked, confused.

"She didn't tell you did she?" she cautions.

"Tell me what?" I start to worry.

"She left. She doesn't work at Seattle Grace anymore." she states.

"Left to where?" I ask, my voice getting panicky.

"Los Angeles." she says softly.

I feel like I can't breathe. I need to get out. I turn and rush into the nearest supply closet, my eyes trained on the floor the entire time. I slam the door shut, and fiddle with the lock until it clicks. Tears trail down my cheeks as I slide onto the floor.

She left. She's gone. Without a word, without a single trace.

* * *

With her gone, it feels like there is a little hole. At first, I didn't notice as much, but the hole keeps growing and growing. Work seems like the only replacement for her affections. However, when I'm alone, my mind always drifts back to her absence. The other interns have noticed a change, but all of them have given up trying to get me to talk. Even Cristina has given up, knowing that I'm not going to tell her. I'm alone. I'm alone, and I don't think anyone could ever replace her.


	15. Sunshine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the last chapter. I've truly appreciated all the support I've gotten throughout the book. Thank you for the nice comments and kudos, it means a lot to me. I don't know what's in store for the future of my writing, so it might be awhile before I post anything. I do (hopefully) have a fairly long running story in the making featuring Meredith and Addison. So, without further ado, here's the last chapter of Avoiding Sunshine.

**Addison's POV:**

I needed to get away. I needed to escape the cycle I was trapping myself in. So I picked up my bags, and bought a plane ticket to Los Angeles. I have friends down there with a practice I can join. And the sunshine will be better then Seattle's constant rain.

After a month, I settled into the practice. They all finally have accepted me as one of their own, a part of their family. But despite the fact that this should be great, I still feel like something's missing.

I sigh as I sink into my comforters, listening to the rain pitter patter against my window. It turns out that it does rain in Los Angeles too. The rain reminds me of Seattle. Of her.

I pick up my phone and scroll to my voice mail. I have only three saved, all from Meredith. The first one was from right after our second encounter. Her voice sounded hopeful and slightly suggestive. The second one was from the day after I left. Her voice became frantic and unsure, begging to know what's happening. The last one is from a week later. She sounds broken and defeated, her voice hoarse, echoing words of sorrow and apologies for something that wasn't her fault. It breaks my heart.

I throw my phone to the end of my bed, and turn my attention back to the window. I laugh to myself, one of the main reasons I chose Los Angeles was for the sun. And it's raining. It feels like it's always raining. 

* * *

I'm at the airport. The decision to go there is a blur, but here I am, with a one way ticket to Seattle in my hand. I hear the call my plane over the intercom and it echoes in my head. I stand for a moment, trying to find any second thoughts, any reason not to go back. But I can't. So I head to my plane.

The plane ride is long and tiring, I'd fall asleep, but I feel too anxious to even begin to relax.

**Meredith's POV:**

I wake up to my alarm blaring. I slowly roll out of bed and get ready. I drive to work, and start rounds. If anything, I feel tired. Just very tired.

**Addison's POV:**

I walk out of the airport with purpose, first heading to my hotel to drop off my stuff. Then to see Meredith. And tell her I want to be with her. Derek and I ended it before I left. It was last minute, but we both have seen it coming for years, so it didn't take long. 

After checking into my hotel room, I hail a cab and go to the hospital. We arrive, and I take a moment to just look at the doors. My mind wanders back to the first time I saw this hospital. When I confronted Derek and his new girlfriend. This time will be different, I tell myself. This time will be better.

I start searching for Meredith near the nurses station with no luck, until I run into Bailey.

"Bailey." I greet her.

"A-Dr. Montgomery," she greets back, with a stern face.

"Do you know where I could find Dr. Grey?" I ask quickly.

Her expression remains the same, but her voice softens, "She's charting today, check the back hallways."

"Thanks," I rush to the hallways. I walk at a fast pace, but slow down when I see her slumped on a cot against the wall. Her complexion is pale, and her eyebrows are permanently furrowed in sadness. Her figure looks hopeless. 

"Meredith?" I murmur.

She looks up with an unreadable expression on her face, her eyes wide as she notices me.

"I- I'm back," I keep going, unsure what to do.

"You're back," she repeats softly to herself.

I step forward, "I'm sorry,"

She merely nods.

"I shouldn't've left. I was scared. I'm sorry," I repeat my apology waiting for a response, anything.

She speaks up, "Are you going to leave again?"

I take another look at her. She looks afraid. She has bags under her eyes, and her lips are pursed in a frown. "No. I'm going to stay," I pause, "I went to Los Angeles for the sun. It always rains in Seattle, and it rained that night in New York, and I needed sun. I needed something different. So I went. And I swear it just seemed to always rain. And I was laying in bed, thinking, and all that was going through my head was that everything seemed so much better here, with you. But I kept finding every excuse to stay away. You're my sunshine. And I'm so done avoiding sunshine. So I want to stay. I want to stay with you.

I look back into her eyes. 

"Okay."

"Okay?" I respond.

She walks over to me, and places her hands on my shoulders. I lean in, so my lips are ghosting hers. Our lips connect in a soft, sweet kiss. After what feels like an eternity, she pulls back, resting her forehead on mine. 

"Okay."

 


End file.
